Improve Your Marriage

with Skills that are Proven!

Text or Call 218-366-0580

Marriage Groups offer the Skills Needed to Stay Together in a Successful Marriage.

Do you want to improve your marriage, even if things are going well? We can all improve our intimacy and communication with our spouse.

I'm offering skills based groups, meaning learning what makes a good marriage and what avoiding what destroys marriages. With a little know how we can all have a marriage that lasts and is good.

As Christians, we all desire a marriage that is rooted in Christ, but many of us were never taught the skills necessary to build a truly Christ-centered marriage. The question is, what are those essential skills? There's a wealth of advice out there—from Bible verses to personal experiences—but it can be overwhelming to figure out how to apply it all.

Respect, love, honor, cherish, submit, self-sacrifice, becoming one in Christ—it all sounds wonderful, but how do we actually live these out in our marriages?

On my own journey, led by God, I’ve sought to understand what truly makes a marriage work and how to keep Christ at the center. Through this journey, I discovered the research of Dr. John Gottman, whose work provides valuable insights into marriage dynamics. However, while his research is powerful, it doesn’t fully address how to maintain a Christ-centered marriage.

That’s why I’ve combined Gottman’s research with Biblical principles to create a unique Christian marriage group, designed to bless and strengthen marriages in alignment with God’s will.

If you feel your marriage could use some improvement (and most can benefit in some areas), this group is for you. Over the course of just six weeks, with two-hour sessions, you’ll gain the essential skills needed to build a strong, healthy, and Christ-centered marriage.

Join me, and take the next step toward a marriage that reflects the love and grace of Christ.

218-366-0580

What to Expect

These groups are designed to give you information and practical skills to improve your marriage.

Over the 6 weeks, you'll learn what makes marriages successful and what causes them to fail. My focus isn't just about preventing divorce but also about keeping the connection between you and your spouse. It's so easy to drift apart and become like roommates.

This class is about education and skills. You won't be sharing your personal problems with anyone (like a therapy group). Instead you'll work on the new skills with your spouse.

We'll also have learning times with some question and answers based on information from the workbook.

It's an easy way to learn needed skills without feeling uncomfortable.

Diane Cerven, LPCC, Online Christian Therapist in Minneapolis and Greater MN, Specializing in Christian Counseling for: anxiety and marriages. -Plus Christian Mentorship-
Level 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy

HI THERE, I'M DIANE.

Marriage is the most meaningful relationship we have in our lives, (below our relationship with God). It can also be the hardest.

Learn what Makes Marriage Work from a Biblical perspective in this 6 week group.
It's amazing what God will do when we allow Him to show us the steps.

I bring my 20 years of experience and my heart to help others to everything I do. I've worked through the hard stuff myself and want to see everyone get to their best marriage.

Is it easy? Not always.

Is it worth it? YES!!!

218-366-0580

Gottman Method for Effective Communication

from a Biblical Perspective

"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by Dr. John Gottman offers research-based insights into what makes marriages succeed or fail. While not explicitly Christian, its principles can be harmonized with Christian values to strengthen and nurture a marriage in a way that honors God. Here's a summary of the main points from a Christian perspective:

1. Enhance Your Love Maps

In marriage, it’s essential to deeply know your spouse—what Dr. Gottman calls "love maps." This involves understanding your partner’s world, from their dreams and fears to their daily joys and struggles. From a Christian perspective, this reflects the biblical call to "know" your spouse intimately (1 Peter 3:7) and to love them as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25).

2. Nurture Fondness and Admiration

Gottman emphasizes the importance of maintaining a sense of respect and appreciation for your spouse. In Christian marriage, this principle aligns with the call to "honor one another above yourselves" (Romans 12:10) and to see your spouse as a gift from God, fostering gratitude and admiration in your relationship.

3. Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away

This principle encourages couples to respond to each other’s emotional needs with small acts of connection. From a Christian standpoint, this reflects the biblical idea of bearing one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) and being a source of support and comfort, just as God is our refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1).

4. Let Your Partner Influence You

Healthy marriages involve mutual respect and influence. Gottman suggests that allowing your spouse to influence you strengthens the partnership. In Christian marriage, this principle mirrors the concept of mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21), where both partners seek to serve and uplift one another in love.

5. Solve Your Solvable Problems

Gottman differentiates between solvable problems and perpetual issues. He encourages couples to approach solvable problems with gentleness and compromise. From a Christian perspective, this aligns with the biblical call to be peacemakers (Matthew 5:9) and to resolve conflicts in a spirit of humility and love (Ephesians 4:2-3).

6. Overcome Gridlock

Some issues may never be fully resolved, but Gottman suggests finding ways to cope with them. In Christian marriage, this can involve seeking God’s guidance and grace to navigate differences, understanding that marriage is a covenant where both partners commit to growing together in unity, even amidst challenges (Colossians 3:13-14).

7. Create Shared Meaning

Finally, Gottman emphasizes the importance of building a shared life together, including shared values, goals, and rituals. For Christians, this principle resonates with the biblical vision of marriage as a partnership in which both spouses work together to glorify God and fulfill His purpose for their lives (Genesis 2:24). Creating a shared spiritual life, including prayer, worship, and service, can deepen the bond and purpose of the marriage.

Conclusion

Dr. Gottman’s principles offer practical tools for building a strong marriage, and when viewed through a Christian lens, they underscore the importance of love, respect, mutual support, and shared faith. By applying these principles, Christian couples can honor God in their marriage and create a relationship that reflects His love and grace.

Frequently Asked Questions about Marriage Counseling in MN

Who Would Benefit From This Group?

Pre-engaged
Premarital
Everyone from newlyweds to seniors
Those who wish to take their marriage from good to great
Those needing better conflict management skills

Who Wouldn't Benefit from the Group?

Couples in:
Severe relationship distress
Emotional abuse
Domestic violence
Active addictions (alcohol, drug, gambling)
Serious mental health problems in one or both partners (that is untreated)
Single people

Will we have to Share Our Personal Details with the Group?

Since this is a skills group, we will not have anyone share personal details. This group is focused on learning the skills needed to improve your marriage, all from a Biblical perspective. There will be activities for you two to work on together, privately.

Christian Marriage Blog

Turning Towards in Listening

At the heart of every conversation is the desire to be heard. For someone to acknowledge our presence, even when we’re just remarking on something unimportant.

We want to know that the other person, especially our spouse, hears us. Jesus said many times let there be ears to hear. Even He was looking to be heard in a way that He was understood.

Couples Therapy vs. Marriage Counseling

When spouses face challenges in their relationship, they often seek professional help to navigate their issues and strengthen their bond. Jesus told us there would be troubles in this world.

The terms "couples therapy" and "marriage counseling" are frequently used interchangeably, leading to confusion about whether they are the same or different. In reality, both refer to the same process of helping couples improve their relationship dynamics, communication, and overall satisfaction. Let's explore the common goals, techniques, and benefits of these interventions, regardless of the terminology used.

Why Do Married Couples Go to Christian Marriage Counseling in MN?

Marriage is a rewarding journey that God has blessed us with, but it’s not without its challenges. Many married couples in Minnesota seek couples therapy for various reasons, aiming to strengthen their relationship and address issues that may be causing distress. Here are some common reasons why couples decide to pursue Christian marriage counseling in MN: